The day I hung out my entrepreneur/consultant shingle, I took a moment to reflect on the variety of careers I had before and after graduating from law school. It occurred to me that in each job my allies weren't always women. In fact, I often worked in offices where the relationships between women were adversarial and volatile.
I contemplated why female attitudes and behavior in our places of employment are different from our day-to-day lives as friends and confidants. Is antagonistic conduct a defense mechanism or an attempt to survive professionally? I didn't have the answer, and still don't. However, my personal rebellion against same-sex hostility in the working world began when I took on my first consulting client.
Through a chamber of commerce meeting, I found my initial patron--a woman who was willing to pay me a significant hourly fee to share with her the trials and tribulations of self-employment. As I listened to her speak, I realized she needed some simple guidance, not a detailed plan to begin her business anew. She already had the ideas, motivation and finances to further her venture.
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My first reaction was to pat myself on the back for securing such a great client. My second was to offer some gratis advice so she could move on with her new undertaking.
I took my "non-client" out to lunch and listened to her ideas. I was inspired. We became friends and provided mutual therapy regarding our plight as women business owners. Instead of a paid consultant, I became a mentor to a brilliant woman who continues to inspire me. I loved the idea of supplementing my income with an impressive hourly fee, but I found that helping a woman achieve her dreams was far better in the long run.
Being a mentor provides many rewards. As an advisor and supporter, you'll receive great personal compensation in watching a woman bring her ideas to fruition. Support another woman testing the waters of entrepreneurship, and you'll see wonderful things happen; provide some ideas, support and resources to a visionary, and you may end up with the best part of the deal--a friend who understands what you've been through and what you're still trying to accomplish.
Finding a true comrade in a complex and competitive business world is rare. As I expand my business, I still find individuals who feel my place shouldn't be running a corporation but instead enjoying a comfortable domestic perch somewhere in the suburbs. It's during those times that I need a sympathetic ear and a compatriot.
Bonding and mentoring allows us to share our concerns about business, family and time management so we can forge ahead. My junior colleagues allow me to vent about life and a need to succeed. Mentoring each other can open up a new world of rapport and success for those needing a simple push to pursue an idea.
When I contemplated a career change from attorney to entrepreneur, I second guessed myself at every turn. Would I make enemies at the firm when I quit abruptly? Would my family feel betrayed as I abandoned my law degree for a risky business undertaking? I contemplated failure, not success. I almost undermined my entire idea and stuck with the comfort of a job I despised. I needed some justification to pursue my irrational idea.
I found that validation in an unlikely place. An elderly woman at the grocery store was checking me out as I bought ice cream and cookies to calm my fears about this potential change. She asked if I was OK as I broke into the cookie box and compulsively consumed every ounce. Much to the chagrin of shoppers behind me waiting in line, I launched into my story. I told the woman I was contemplating a move that could be my destiny. She looked at me and said, "Do what you want." I wondered if a life-changing decision was really that simple.
My implausible mentor changed my life. The next time a fledgling woman seeks a bit of advice, take an opportunity to share the wealth and you may be the catalyst to her success. I think about the grocery store gal from time to time and understand had it not been for her wisdom, I'd still be serving subpoenas.




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