One of the hardest things I've ever done as a business owner was to fire someone. I think it hurt me more than it hurt her--at least, that's how it felt. But this individual complained at every turn, and her negativity was poisoning the work environment. My business partner and I discussed what to do, and we decided I should fire her.

Although I tried to be respectful and kind while informing her, her chin suddenly began to quiver. That triggered quivering in my chin, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Then she verbally attacked me. Her vitriol instantly dried my tears and steadied my chin, and I knew I was right to let her go.

Lissa Johnsen, 43, president and CEO of Business Technology Solutions Inc. http://www.btsolutions.net/, fired someone for the first time during the second year of her $2 million company.

Before making the final decision to fire the employee, Johnsen discussed the issue with a couple of other team members and with a mentor from outside the company. She recalls the experience as a ride on an emotional roller coaster.

"I really liked the person and was very anxious, especially the night before," Johnsen says. "I was nervous when I started to inform her of the decision. I hoped she would not cry, so I would not also become emotional."

Her employee got mad at first; and then she began to cry.

"She actually begged for another chance," Johnsen says. "We had given her two verbal warnings plus a written warning, so it did not make sense to give more chances."

If she could redo it, Johnsen says, she would not give the employee so much time to discuss the firing.

Says Johnsen, "I would just state the high-level situation and let the employee know that the decision is final. I would not try to justify the decision or discuss back and forth."

Amanda Puppo, 33, was lucky to keep her first employee for three years.
 
"I had worked at my kitchen table in my apartment for the first two years, then got office space and hired this employee. Three years later, I realized--and I think she realized, too--that it just wasn't working any more," says Puppo, CEO of MarketReach Inc., a telephone marketing company approaching $1 million in revenue this year.

Puppo admits that when she hired her first employee, she didn't know what qualities an employee needed to help grow her company. Over time, she knew the woman wasn't reaching the level of sophistication required to increase business.

Puppo says she kept the employee longer than she should have, partly because they had become friends. The actual firing was "pleasant," according to Puppo, because she went about it in a nurturing, empathetic way. Her former employee got a new job shortly after and still stays in touch.

Says Puppo, "Whenever I have to fire someone, I try to present it as, 'It's probably in the best interest for both of us that we end it.' " She also says that after seven years in business, she is less emotional about hiring and firing.

Sharon Armstrong, HR consultant and author of the book The Essential HR Handbook: A Quick and Handy Resource for Any Manager or HR Professional, gives these firing don'ts:

1. Don't make the meeting too long.
2. Don't go on the defensive.
3. Don't be insensitive.
4. Don't use humor.
5. Don't make promises you can't keep.

When you come right down to it, although there are bound to be emotions involved on both ends, firing someone should be a business decision handled with thought and care.