If actions speak louder than words, then as a leader, your actions are shouting from the rooftops. This is a critical and important lesson of leadership. All eyes are watching, yet we spend far more time on what we say than on how we say it.

The language of action in leadership is so critical that I'm spending the next two columns on it. I believe it's the secret of authentic leadership. It's the difference between a leader who seems distant and unconcerned, and one who comes across as connected and inspiring.

This month's column will focus on body language--the most fundamental, and readable, actions of our leaders. Next month I'll explore leaders' daily presence in the workplace, including how and where they spend their time.

Many people have heard of Albert Mehrabian's 1981 study, which revealed that when people are trying to process uncertainty from another's communications, they read 55 percent through body language, 38 percent through tone and only 7 percent through language. It's easy to see how this plays out in our daily lives. How many of you have listened to a leader who looked nervous and uncomfortable while trying to motivate you? It simply doesn't work.

I often coach leaders about how to have a more effective presence so they come across as competent, inspiring and real. Earlier in my career, I trained people in public speaking skills, and I can tell you that this is not the same thing. I have nothing against presentation training: It's great at making you more aware of how your own gestures, voice and language may muddy your message. However, having the perfect gesture or posture doesn't make you authentic; rather, it can make you seem rehearsed or disconnected.

Leaders need to concentrate on being more intentional about what they want to communicate and focus on how to embody it. It's this authenticity that draws us together. As it turns out, we are experts at reading each other's body language in all its forms, so even the most rehearsed presenters won't come across as genuine if they don't buy in themselves.

If you've read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, you may recall a section that discusses the work of Paul Ekman, a well-known psychologist whose life's work has been dissecting and cataloguing our human ability to interpret facial expressions. He's written several books, including Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life and the just-published Emotional Awareness: Overcoming the Obstacles to Psychological Balance and Compassion, coauthored with the Dalai Lama.

I find Ekman's work fascinating for leaders, because he discusses how to better read facial expressions in others and how to manage our own by understanding the emotions behind them. In an interview, Ekman offered some insights on the importance of non-verbal communication.

Kristi Hedges: Why is non-verbal communication so important?

Paul Ekman: Our face and voice are the emotional signal systems. If you want to understand my intent, it's the emotion statements you need, not simply my words. We tend to trust the face and voice more when there is conflict.

KH: Why is it so difficult to fake it?

PE: We can try, but most of us aren't very good at it. We're better at faking words than body language. Micro expressions, very quick flashes of emotion on our faces, can't even be faked by trained actors.

KH: Why is it important for leaders to understand their true emotions when they communicate with others?

PE: Your emotions may be all over your face. And you may not know how you are feeling until afterward. Many people recognize when someone says, 'What are you upset about?' and it's the first time you knew you were upset. I believe it's because our emotions have evolved as predators, and we don't notice them in the moment. This has its uses. If you're in a near-miss car accident, you don't realize how you responded until later. Even when we have emotions over the course of minutes, we don't realize until later.

KH: You conduct workshops that help people better understand each other by learning to pick up subtle facial expressions. How does this help in business?

PE: Anybody who has to work with people--whether in sales, negotiations or teams--needs what Daniel Goleman called emotional intelligence (EI). Dan talks about my work and is responsible for bringing people to me to learn how to get EI. I developed practical tools to use as a stepping stone for understanding facial expressions. The one that is most complete is a micro expression training tool called METT. It's used widely by retailers to corporations to anti-terrorism training.

It isn't everything you need for EI, but it's a first step to understand how others are feeling. Even when a person isn't talking but we are, their face gives us messages about how to respond. It's a crucial step in evaluating credibility and rapport.

Any time your relationship matters, you need to understand the other person. One example is that we worked with an investment bank during negotiations to determine whether they should buy a particular asset. We've also worked with salespeople in a department store. After three weeks, they were doing better on the job.

KH: You just wrote a book with the Dalai Lama. What can readers learn from it?

PE: Almost everyone is handicapped by not being aware of our emotions in the moment. Our emotions serve as filters that deprive us of the full information around us. Readers will get ideas about how to develop more immediate awareness of their momentary emotional experience. The Dalai Lama is interested in emotion and compassion, and we came up with new ideas that could be helpful to others.