If you've ever felt like shouting, "I can't do it all," I'm with you. It all came into stark focus this holiday season when I somehow managed to miss a doctor's appointment, scheduled four months earlier, and--even worse--two birthday parties my daughters had been invited to (both of which I had RSVP'd for).

Each oversight had a perfectly good explanation. Nevertheless, guilt took over, and I actually broke down and cried. Why share this pitiful confession? Because I know that if you're starting a business, managing a household and raising kids--especially during the holidays--you're probably experiencing the same issues. Here's what I have to say to you: Don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm writing this (past my deadline) for publication in January because it's not just the holidays. It's all year. If you're starting a business, you're probably an energized and motivated person in all areas of your life. That means you may be more inclined to place unrealistic demands on yourself.

Recently I was talking to a friend who is a full-time lawyer with two young daughters. She's also an athlete who regularly runs marathons and triathlons, is a member of the PTA, teaches religious school and always has some sort of craft project going on. (She also always somehow looks stylish and perfect no matter what time of day.) She admitted that she stayed up until 2:30 a.m. one night --ruining the rest of her week--just to prepare a craft project for a group of kids to do at a casual get-together the following night. She said couldn't help it.

In the initial draft of this column I included several tips I thought might help in situations like these. However, recommending "good planning" or "using a calendar" simply misses the point that, no matter how well-organized you are or how tight a ship you run, sometimes it's all too much--and things break down.

My friend, the lawyer, also told me she recently went grocery shopping, bought a cartful of items, and didn't realize until she got home that she never put them in the car. A member of our online community recently shared that she couldn't find her cell phone. She called her cell from her house phone only to find her cell phone in the refrigerator. So many busy, capable and confident women I know have shared similar stories; usually, they explain how they were distracted by thoughts of kids, family or work.

Like many of you, I am my worst critic... which does me no good. When I do make mistakes, I make authentic and appropriate apologies--and then to try to let it go.

I don't have all the answers, but I find solace when I make myself stop the tumultuous motion and think about what I am grateful for, what is working in my life and what is working in my business. Taking a minute or two to reflect, while keeping my eyes shut and taking a few deep breaths, helps put things in perspective and grounds me once again.

I hope it helps you, too.