Because I've been self-employed for more than 20 years, people frequently ask me whether they should open a business. If you're not already a business owner, you've probably considered being your own boss and thought you could do a better job than most proprietors. That could be the case. But I have some self-employment war stories to give you a good look at the reality of business ownership.

A client of mine decided to open a dog-grooming business. She's a bona fide dog lover and it seemed the perfect fit for her. She found the space, got her administrative/front desk staff and an experienced groomer. Word got around fast as she advertised her opening-day specials. Her books were jammed with animal owners seeking a spa-like experience for their pups.

Opening day started at 7 a.m. with enthusiastic dog moms and dads dropping off their furry kids. By 9 a.m. the crates were jammed with dogs, yet there was no groomer. She called every contact number she had, but the new business owner could not locate her employee. By noon, a message on the groomer's cell phone politely announced that she had found better employment. It's hard to say how she defined "better employment," since she had not worked a day at her job. Either way, the fledgling owner was stuck.

Here's the lesson: When you open a business, be well-versed in all aspects of your services since you may be the only soldier you can count on. No one will love your business as you do.

Another acquaintance decided to open a graphic arts corporation. She was re-entering the work force after having three children. In need of employment again, she felt that business ownership would provide more flexibility in her schedule.

She didn't realize she would be catering to businesspeople who didn't have any flexibility in their own lives. She soon found out that the hours were long, the job demanding and, because her work was so specialized, no one could take her place .The job took over her life. Her husband is unhappy, her kids are in day care 12 hours a day, and she's committed to an office space and employees who cost a significant amount every month. I asked her recently if she'd do it again. She tells me emphatically that she loves the idea, but that establishing a company at this point in her life was actually costing her more than she could give.

Here's the lesson: You might be biting off more than you can chew.

The final tale: A woman I went to law school with got tired of working as a property lawyer at a law firm. A talented attorney, she offered every client her best and knew she would do well going out on her own and making all of the everyday decisions. I had no doubt her talent would see her into a successful change. What I did not know was just how limited her actual business experience was.

To save time and money, she hired one person to answer the phones 10 hours a week. That person was hired for her phone voice, which was professional and calm. She was the epitome of the perfect receptionist. The only problem was that she only answered phones and stated in no uncertain terms that there would be nothing other than phone work on her 10 hour-a-week agenda. The attorney agreed that her specialization was worth it. So the rest of the time the attorney answered the phones, made copies, did the invoicing, spoke with clients, ordered supplies, ran the business and, on occasion, practiced law.

She admitted some months later that self-employment was a huge commitment. I asked her if she would do it again. Yes, she said, but with proper funding and more office experience. Smiling, she said she now has a better appreciation for what office managers, paralegals, receptionists and other office professionals have to provide for their employers on a day-to-day basis.

Here's the lesson: You can't do it all on your own.

I wanted to know what these women could have done differently. The doggie spa owner admitted that she was caught up in her dream and ill-prepared for the downside of the business. Specifically, she realized that because hers is a service business, she needs to know every aspect of the business, not just to cover a missing employee but to pick up the slack when busy and to have a better knowledge of the profession in general. I spoke to her a few weeks ago as she was getting ready for her first round of practical tests at a grooming school.

The graphic arts designer also admitted to being unprepared for her introduction into self-employment. She believed the myth that an entrepreneur makes her own hours, and that the business would quickly show a profit. Therefore, her life would be more manageable and enjoyable than before when she stayed at home with three children. She acknowledged that her abrupt foray into employment was an escape from reality. She said she was tired of staying home with the kids and needed adult interaction. She discovered that self-employment is a big commitment and one that she will attempt to get a better perspective on during the upcoming year.

The attorney was able to make her business work, but at great expense. As she tried to do everything independently, she suffered a series of setbacks. She rarely received referrals from her clients, she missed the occasional deadline and, worst of all, she made some costly mistakes. For example, on a particularly busy day, she opted to refrain from proof-reading her firm's new brochure.

She green-lighted 15,000 color brochures in a sophisticated booklet and presentation folder. The cost was astronomical, yet she knew the importance of good advertising materials. The day the boxes arrived via FedEx she was astounded to see the black presentation cover with gold lettering: "Kathy Smith, Arrorney at Law." To make matters worse, her biography stated that she had a bachelor's degree in politics as opposed to political science, and it failed to list her law degree or her additional scholastic accolades, which were extremely relevant to her practice. Sadly, she had to pay thousands of dollars to create a distributable brochure or forever be known as an "arrorney."

Details matter. Although I wouldn't trade my self-employment adventures for the world, I caution anyone who wants to be an entrepreneur to be prepared, know your stuff and fasten your seat belt--there will definitely be days where you'll have a bumpy ride