When it comes to self-promotion, women often take a back seat, waiting and hoping that someone else will give them kudos publicly so they can be off the hook when it comes to speaking aloud about their accomplishments. Why are women so hesitant to self-promote?

When I first started my Cybergrrl Inc. internet company in 1995, I was hesitant to put my name--or face--out there, much less my voice. I drew a cartoon of myself and made it the face of the company. Soon, however, I realized that in order to achieve my business goals--including a mission to inspire and empower women through technology--I had to be present. That meant coming out from behind the scenes and speaking to the media, lecturing around the world and publishing my writing on the web.

Still, I struggled every day with explaining what I did, much less mentioning some of my major career accomplishments. That was until I heard men speak in business settings and effortlessly promote themselves. Could it really be that easy? No, not at all. But with a lot of practice--and no small amount of inner cringing--I was able to find ways to explain my decades of internet experience, the award-winning skills I have honed and the high media profile I have enjoyed.

"Five years ago, when I was 45 years old, my partners (all men, incidentally) and I bought our agency. We decided as a group that while our partnership would be represented by a round table, one of us would be the final decision-maker, and the agency would bear that person's name," recalls Sharon Napier, 51, CEO of Partners & Napier. "My partners picked me. The faith that my partners placed in me as their CEO was one of the factors that gave me the confidence to fully realize my position as the agency's leader and to accept that the role includes--and often demands--self-promotion."

Before this business decision, Napier admits she was uncomfortable with promoting herself. She says her father taught her that success comes from hard work, creativity, teamwork and integrity.

"These values do not embrace unhindered self-promotion. In fact, just the opposite: The work is never about the self, but the team," Napier says, adding, "Because of my background, I used to apologize for not having the 'right' degree or the New York City/Madison Avenue-based resume that would give me the credentials necessary to sit beside the 'big boys' in my industry."

Another turning point for Napier's self-promotion came when she began sitting on national boards and leading workshops for fellow agency leaders.

Says Napier, "I realized I had something that no one else had: my own experiences and our agency's body of great work. That is worth more than any piece of paper or resume. And that has given me the confidence necessary to tell my personal story."

Paula Gregorowicz, life and business coach for women and creator of the "Comfortable in Your Own Skin Coaching Process," says that while colleagues or clients may occasionally sing your praises, if you really want to succeed, you--and you alone--are responsible for nourishing your skills and passions and letting others know the value in what you offer.

"That starts with valuing yourself and having a strong personal foundation," Gregorowicz says. That means:

• Getting clear on who you are and what you really want
   
• Employing regular habits to keep you at your personal best
   
• Making choices that allow you to live in alignment with what matters most to you. (For more tips from Gregorowicz, read my blog, "Banish the Sleazy Salesperson and Be Authentic.")

When you are confident in who you are and what you offer, you are able easily and naturally to tell others about what you do and how they benefit from working in partnership with you.

Shannon Boase, 43, owner of Earthcycle Packaging Ltd., says that she struggled with self-promotion when she first launched her business nearly five years ago.

"I hired a PR agency and, in the initial meeting, they were asking for 'my story.' They wanted to know why, how and what made me decide to set up Earthcycle Packaging," Boase says. "My career background is convoluted, so I didn't think that it would translate well into sound bites. I also wasn't comfortable revealing myself, my beliefs and my history in public. My natural inclination is toward humility, so self-promotion really tested my belief system."

Boase says she learned that the consumer wants to know the story behind a product, and telling her own story helped her business.

"Our products, due to their environmental nature, connect with consumers on an emotional level. Knowing more about the story behind the products and my relationship with them furthers that emotional connection," Boase says.

Yes, I still cringe and second-guess myself when I promote what I do. I also endure criticism from others--mostly other women--who accuse me of being "self-promotional," as if it were a bad thing. I chalk it up to jealousy and insecurity. Yet I, too, have bristled when another woman comes on strong tooting her horn. But I'm even more put off when she apologizes for promoting herself. If you're going to promote yourself, at least do it without excuses and disclaimers.

With a new business up and running, I know self-promotion is just part of the overall marketing mix that I need to employ to get our name out there.

Napier puts it this way: "Being a CEO of an eponymous agency, I realize that telling my personal story will only lead to more opportunities for our agency as a whole and liberate our agency promise. And frankly, that's just good business."