Women entrepreneurs, especially women with children, need a support system. We can't do it alone.

At age 43, I found myself pregnant with my first child. My son, Zachary, now 4½, is my pride and joy. He also turned my life upside down. I've always been a focused, organized career woman. Now my challenge has been to adapt myself at mid-career to caring for a young child, wanting to enjoy my time with him and keeping my business going.

In order to do this, I have found four sources of support: spouse, family and lifelong friends; neighbors and the mothers of other kids in Zachary's Kinder Care program; professional organizations and peer groups; and mentors.

1. Spouse, family and lifelong friends: Mine will drop everything and travel hundreds of miles to support me if I need it. My first line of defense in making any major decision is to make sure my spouse is on board. For the first four years of Zachary's life, I simplified my life by keeping my business at a maintenance level while caring for my son and participating in the family activities centered around his day-care program. I cut out most extracurricular business activities.
   
   When Zachary turned 4, I decided I could reassess my business-related commitments. I was invited to join the board of the Greater Washington, DC, chapter of the National Association of Women Business Owners, which would mean committing to a number of hours per month. I sat down with my husband, Rob; we discussed what this new commitment would involve and what activities and responsibilities I was asking him to take on. If I have an evening meeting, Rob has to take care of dinner and entertain Zachary. Taking care of dinner means he brings home prepared food; Rob is not a cook. When Rob is out of town, I line up friends.
    
2. Neighbors: Other parents whose children are involved in the same activities as your child can deliver or pick up your child if you have a conflict. Often, neighbors replace family if family is far away. My family is in Michigan. So my neighbors and the other working moms from KinderCare replace family on a day-to-day basis. When I was growing up, my aunts, uncles and cousins lived only 10 minutes away. We grew up as an extended family. Now this community is our extended family. We have regular play dates: The kids play and the moms talk about how we are balancing it all. We drop our kids off with one another when we need an hour to get something done. We are a close-knit community raising our children together and watching out for each other.
    
3. Professional organizations: I have had fantastic experiences with local networking groups. Not only have I been able to grow my business this way, but I also have made many good friends. People in these groups tend to share the things you experience in your professional life and work for the same goals. For me, joining the NAWBO board was an opportunity to become a part of something bigger than myself. We are working for a common purpose--providing a voice for the 10 million women business owners in the U.S. We are seeking greater economic, social and political influence for women. We also support each other.
   
   Members of your professional group can be pinch-hitters for your business obligations. One of my clients delivers speeches and conducts workshops. She also has two young children. So she keeps a list of other professionals who can step in for her if she or one of her children has the flu. She reciprocates in kind.
    
4. Mentors: You can bounce ideas off them. They tell you whether you're on track or totally off base. You might have a big, wild idea. A mentor can say, "Forget it, baby!" or "Yeah, way to dream big!" Your mother or your friends might not say that. Mentors help us get beyond where we are in business and in life. They help us grow bigger and think bigger. They have been there ahead of us.
   
   I have had different mentors at different stages of my life. When I was starting my coaching career, I went to a seminar by Thomas Leonard, who founded the profession of business coaching. I still pull ideas from the notes I took at that seminar. My next mentor was the director in my area for Business Networking International, the world's largest networking group. BNI was my first peer group; members meet to share ideas, contacts and referrals. My mentor's advice helped me build my business and remain profitable. I have had three substantially lengthy coaching relationships: the first when I decided to become a coach myself, the second to help me build my business and the third to help me find work-life balance. I still replay conversations I had with my first coach in 1996-97.

A final note: There comes a time when you should hire someone to help you. Women need to be able to recognize that time. For example, if you need your groceries delivered, hire someone to do it. If you need someone to help clean the house, hire a maid or a cleaning service. You don't want to wear out your friends. Also, there are whole industries of people who can help out on a professional level. I've used a virtual assistant for nine of the 10 years I've been in business. The advice my first coach gave me was to hire an assistant before I thought I could afford one. Now I can't afford to be without my virtual assistant.