They yell, "I don't agree!" when you least expect it. They demand, "I need it . . . now" no matter what you're doing. And if they think you're not paying them enough attention, they throw a bloodcurdling fit. Exasperated and exhausted, you want to yell, "You're getting a time out--that's it!" Except you can't, because it's your client, not your 2-year-old.

Dealing with clients can, at times, be like dealing with children in their terrible twos. They can be whiny, demanding, needy, moody, stubborn and ask endless questions (Is the project done yet? Why are you doing it that way?). They seem to be at their crankiest when you are extra busy and over-stressed yourself. When clients act this way, they can wreak havoc on your day and take the shine out of entrepreneurship.

But take heart. Whether clients, bosses or co-workers, all humans can revert to their inner child when under pressure. You just can't let them run your business any more than a boss can run your life. You must put some valuable skills to work: specifically, "parenting without patronizing."

I call these misbehaving adults TOTs--for "Terrible Office Tyrant." I introduced them in my book, Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job. The TOT-taming tips work for just about anyone in an office and even as a guide to keep one's staff from sliding into TOT behavior.

Even if the working relationship looks perfect on paper at the start, you can still be blindsided by the most time-consuming factors in any business relationship: the emotionally draining interpersonal side. If you choose not to learn effective coping techniques, then your billable hours will surely diminish, affecting your bottom line. And the exuberance that drove you to entrepreneurship will quickly be replaced by misery. You don't want to hear yourself saying, "Starting a business and closing it were the two most exciting days of my life."

So managing your clients may have a broader meaning than you once thought. But the payback can be immense in every sense.

TOT Client Traits
You can tame your TOT clients without losing their valued business by looking at what counterproductive traits are on display, exploring the underlying cause and managing them deftly. I've divided 20 bad behaviors into two basic categories: "bratty" and "little lost lambs." Hopefully, you've only encountered a few--but you may have seen one or two in your own office:

Bratty Behavior

1. Bragging
2. Bullying
3. Demanding
4. Ignoring
5. Impulsiveness
6. Lying
7. Self-centeredness
8. Stubbornness
9. Tantrums
10. Territorialism
11. Whining

1. Endless questioning
2. Fantasy world
3. Fickleness
4. Helplessness
5. Irrational fears
6. Forgetfulness
7. Mood swings
8. Neediness
9. Short attention span

Do any of these traits sound familiar? Let's take a closer look at a few.

Calming and Keeping the Client
Probably the biggest challenge is the bratty, overly demanding client, who when left untamed can turn into a bully--insulting everyone's skills and intelligence. These aggressive tendencies are typically activated when your TOT is operating under stress, has been taught that this behavior will achieve self-serving results or is fearful the project isn't going to work out perfectly. The result can be a messy meltdown right in your office.

Keeping your client in the loop early on, and explaining in a clear and concise way how you are helping him or her will help calm fear. Remember that humor is the great diffuser of tension, so use it to diffuse a heated debate.

A fearful client can also be a needy client. Needy clients may worry that something is about to go wrong. They may call or e-mail you incessantly to ensure that it doesn't. The only thing you can do is provide frequent brief updates and take the initiative to assure them on project status. This is especially true during times that you're out of touch.

Your client may also be the stubborn type who routinely balks at every innovative suggestion. To ward off clients' fear of change or losing control, offer choices and compromise. Make sure you acknowledge their suggestions and build on their ideas interlaced with yours. Emphasize the positive outcomes that are most meaningful to clients, not necessarily to you. Use positive language, such as, "That's a great suggestion," to break down barriers.

Clients can be equally difficult when they whine, constantly change their minds or ask endless questions. Whining is often a bid for attention, but it can also be a sign of low energy. You can set limits by gently bringing the conversation back to the initial focus.

The fickle client who says one thing one day and reverses herself the next can cause endless delays. This client needs a GPS. As with a toddler who wants everything she sees, you have to give guidance, narrow the choices and follow a clear plan. Avoid the temptation to act on every whim of a client who's fickle. She'll respect you as you lay out the ramifications of the changeable behavior.

Preemptive answers and constant briefings are the best way to curtail the endlessly questioning client. Light-hearted comments can often disarm rapid-fire questioning.

If you're unprepared, your client's frustration can be contagious for you and your staff. Always remember that behind your client's emotional crash, there's likely a toddler trapped inside who wants your time and attention. So always have a "pacifier" ready, such as "We're on top of that; today we're doing X." Better yet, preempt the questions with action.

TOT-Proof Your Staff and Humanize Your Workplace
TOT behavior is not limited to clients. If you have even one employee, virtual or otherwise, you might be facing that in your office. Chances are that throughout the workday, you swing from feeling like the boss to feeling "bossed around" yourself. Like all of us, you, your clients and office staff can slip into TOT tendencies under stress.

Is a staff member or manager being stubborn about having it her way and not listening to the client? If you have demanding, stubborn, whiny, moody, or indecisive managers or support staff, your clients may take their business elsewhere.

Many people become entrepreneurs because they have trouble in a traditional corporate environment and possess superb leadership skills of their own. Just beware that it's easy to slip into TOT behavior as we rise up the food chain. It's our responsibility to set the tone and management style for the office. You can humanize the workplace by using diplomacy, being the role model for a caring attitude and setting expectations for solid results, thus making your office TOT-free.

Lynn Taylor (Santa Monica, CA) is author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant (John Wiley), CEO of Lynn Taylor Consulting and a nationally recognized workplace expert.