Do you want to be a rich woman? Most women will answer yes, or "Well, I'd
rather be a rich woman than a poor woman." And, of course, there are those
who'll reply, "You know, money isn't everything. And I'd rather be happy than
rich." I never understand why some people think happy and rich are mutually
exclusive--that you must choose one at the expense of the other. My question is:
Why not be both? Why not be rich and happy?
In "Finding the Rich Woman in You," we
defined a rich woman as one who is financially independent--a woman dedicated to
taking charge of her financial life and not depending on someone else for her
financial well-being. So the first question I usually get is, "Where do I
start?" And if you've already started, the question is, "How do I keep growing
what I have?"
The answer isn't in a precise, step-by-step formula. The most important next
step is found in you--specifically in your mindset. Why is your mindset
essential? Because how and what you think, what you say to yourself, how you
react to circumstances and what you aspire to will directly affect what you
receive in life.
For example, if you think life is tough, life will be tough. If you think you
can't do something, you won't be able to do it. If you're so afraid of making a
mistake that you avoid the new and unknown, you won't learn or grow. Yet if your
words are "I can" and "I will," and you say yes more often than no, and you look
at the new and unknown as an adventure and an opportunity to learn, your chances
for success increase dramatically.
So it's easy to simply say, "Change your thoughts, change your mindset," but
is it actually that easy to do it? This is the question I began asking. And it's
amazing when you start seeking answers how quickly they appear.
One day, a friend, out of the blue, gave me a book she'd just read called
Mindset by Carol Dweck. And Dweck's research struck a chord. Here's a
quick summary:
There are two types of mindsets. The first is the fixed mindset. People with
a fixed mindset believe a person is born with a certain amount of intelligence
and that amount doesn't change. Her personality, talents, strengths and
weaknesses remain constant throughout her life. She may learn new things, but
her intelligence doesn't grow.
The second mindset is called the growth mindset. People with a growth mindset
believe your intelligence, abilities, aptitude and character can constantly
change and improve through learning and experience.
Here's the key: Because people with fixed mindsets believe they have a set
amount of intelligence, they spend their whole life proving how smart they are.
These are the people who flaunt their degrees and titles. They know all the
answers. They constantly seek validation. And because of this, they can't make a
mistake. They can't fail. If they did, that failure would jeopardize their very
existence. They think, "If I make a mistake, I'm not as smart or talented as I
portray myself to be." They don't seek out the unknown. And they don't take
chances because they might fail. These are not the entrepreneurs of the world.
People with growth mindsets, on the other hand, welcome challenges. They want
to tackle the unknown. They opt for the more difficult problems. They have a
passion for learning and growing. They want to constantly stretch themselves
because that's how they get better.
I love learning. I know very well from firsthand experience that the way I
personally grow is to face things I don't know I can do--things that are often
frightening--and do them. Yet in understanding the two mindsets, I realized that
I actually have both in play, depending upon the subject.
For instance, I've always thought of myself as all thumbs when it comes to
painting and drawing. I now realize that's not true. I simply haven't taken the
time to learn those skills. The same with gardening--I'm hopeless. Again, not
true. If I learned gardening and applied what I learned, I'm sure I could be an
excellent gardener.
Which brings me back to the focus of my column--money and investing. Have you
ever heard a women say, "I'm not good with money"? Or, "My eyes glaze over when
I think about investing"? How about this one: "Investing is too difficult. My
mind doesn't think that way"? Or, "I started investing but I'm bored with it"?
Maybe you've even said something similar. Those thoughts are all coming from a
fixed mindset. The growth mindset would say, "I don't know much about investing
today, but I can learn and probably become a great investor."
So if you have a fixed mindset, how do you adopt a growth mindset? I've found
that the first and easiest step is awareness. If you listen to your words and
watch how you react to situations, you'll begin to recognize when you're in a
growth or a fixed mindset.
When it comes to investing, if you stay in a fixed mindset, I believe your
chances for success are slim. I see people freeze up when I guarantee they'll
make mistakes with their investments. It's part of the process.
In investing, sometimes I win and sometimes I lose, but I always come away
smarter and better prepared for my next investment. Making mistakes, learning
from them and getting smarter are all part of the investment process and, as you
can see, are ideally suited for the growth mindset.