There's a classic story about a bicycle manufacturer who sent two marketing
scouts to opposite ends of a remote corner of Africa to assess the prospects for
expanding its business into this unexplored region. The first scout sends back a
telegram stating: Situation worthless, no one rides bikes. The other telegram
excitedly proclaims: Incredible business opportunity, no one rides bikes.
This story reminds us how two people can see the same circumstance as either
a dead end or a limitless possibility. Unfortunately, many more people see the
dead end first. Can't-do-something is a safe position. So every day in the
workplace, we're bombarded with negative messages, such as "This'll never get
approved," "They're not going to like this," or "No one will agree to that."
Whether we're doing the rejecting or being rejected, it all comes from the
same place: fear of failure. Yet by dodging rejection, we actually begin to
undermine the self-belief and imagination that drives real achievement and
business growth.
As a woman entrepreneur, the power of possibility thinking can help you and
those around you strip away negative, can't-do impulses and clearly see the
potential in a new idea, different approach, new hire or business opportunity.
But because the instinct is to avoid failure at all costs, it may take a
little effort to open yourself and others up to new possibilities--to see what
hasn't been seen. So the next time you find yourself in the midst of rejection
or negative criticism, ask these six questions to see if there's a better way.
1. What does "no" really mean? If someone is throwing up a "no"
roadblock, most of us tend to take it personally. But don't get carried away.
Ask yourself: If "no" reflects the other person's desire to keep things status
quo, what do they need to hear to take a risk and try something new? Help them
see what you see. Possibility thinking empowers you not only as an artful
persuader but also as a creative thinker.
2. How does the other person actually see things? We spend a lot of
time trying to convince others to see the value of our ideas. Yet it's what
others see--in executing a business plan, for example--that ultimately
determines if something will work. Understanding the other person's view of
what's possible is the first step to bringing them in line with what you believe
is possible.
3. Is the other person invested in the process? You need to figure out
what's important to the other person. What's at stake for them? What would
trigger them to move ahead aggressively? Figure out what drives the other person
to action, and you'll likely be able to find a direction you both want to go in.
4. Am I making quick judgments based on old assumptions? Check both at
the door. Every time we make an assumption or judgment about someone else's
choice, we kill an opportunity for dialogue. This applies to rejecters and
rejectees. If you seek an outcome, you need to start by understanding the
other's position. From there, asking "why" will generally lead to new
possibilities and courses of action.
5. What stumbling blocks of mine can I change? Start with taking
responsibility for your needs, fears and behaviors. Know yourself well enough to
understand which ones are preventing you from tackling a new opportunity. Being
able to make different choices, including those that may seem contrary to your
nature, is a critical part of expanding the boundaries of what's possible.
6. Am I willing to share ownership? Any proposal, agreement, idea or
solution is much more likely to be accepted by the other person when he or she
has a hand in its design. The impact of sharing authorship cannot be
overemphasized. A co-design process allows you to build a relationship, as well
as share risk. Many feel more willing to pursue loftier goals as a team rather
than alone.
Rejection, negative thoughts, tired assumptions and fear of failure are all
around us. Reject them all. They'll rob you of self-belief, ambition and vision.
Instead, look anew at the world, at every opportunity. Through the power of
possibility thinking, you can turn a "no" into a "yes" and open a closed door
into a gateway to business growth.