"Pattie will do anything for a sale," said a sales rep I
used to work with. I winced every time he said that and turned three shades of
purple. Even though I never had any direct meetings with clients at that time, I
must admit I sometimes used my husky, Marlene Dietrich voice, which usually
worked to my advantage in phone negotiations with male clients.
I've witnessed a range of dress and behaviors from female
colleagues and peers, from traditional and conservative to wildly flirtatious.
But women business owners from across the country draw the line at different
points in the sand when it comes to using their feminine wiles to win in
business. So is it the Sex and the City or the Paris Hilton approach that
wins? Check out what some successful women entrepreneurs are saying.
"I'm in a male-dominated industry, so I definitely put
myself together in a non-stuffy way," says Cindy Myer, 47, president of
Ridgewood Moving Services Company in New Jersey. "I dress more for power
than for any sexual aspect, though I think a strong, smart, confident woman can
be looked at as being sexy, which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing." But
Myer, a widowed mother of two teens, puts the kibosh on flirting to win a sale.
"Subconsciously, many women may act and dress differently when with male
clients, but I believe in taking the high road."
"I've never made a conscious decision to wear something
different when meeting with male clients," says Stacie Francombe, 32-year-old
CEO and founder of
Get Married, a newly launched TV program and website, and Reel Creative, a
video production company in Georgia. Francombe, married with three boys under
the age of five, does dress up more when meeting with both male and female
clients, compared to her usual office attire. For her, it's more about exuding
confidence than dressing to impact her sales. She also prefers not to go to
after-hours events alone, adding that in her field, she's never had to
"misbehave."
"I've been in situations where I felt I had
to be more flirtatious to get a sale vs. my competition--and that meant wearing
a shorter skirt or brighter colors," says Anita Yudkin, 65, of Dallas, who has
owned Tres-R-Chest, a direct-mail coupon company, since 1984. Having dealt with
comments like "What's in your treasure chest?" for years, Yudkin feels being
friendly doesn't have to translate into something sexual.
Holly Boyd, a 42-year-old professional organizer, speaker
and author from the Ohio Valley, who owns
A1 Organizing, feels strongly about keeping the focus on business. "I think
when we as women stoop to dressing provocatively, it's beneath us. If we aren't
capable or qualified to get that client, we don't deserve it. There's a lot of
competition out there, but showing that you have a plan early on will take you
farther than any short skirt."
Deborah Gilbert Smith, who's in her 60s and owns a
fashion-forward
women's clothing boutique in New Jersey that bears her name, has a definite
stance on dress and attitude in the workplace. "A smart person knows what she's
about and what she's doing." According to Smith, it's important to work on
making yourself as attractive as possible; but she cautions not to cross the
line. "There should be a level of integrity, with a focus on what's good for
your business and your industry."
Two South Carolina CEOs, Robin Berlinsky, 43, founder of
Niki Leigh Spa, a homegrown bath products firm, and Terry Seabrook, 50,
owner of the
Space Company, a residential sales and property management business, have
enjoyed great success keeping tricks off their behavior charts. "As a woman in
real estate you have to be careful. I don't see how it could help to be flirty
in business," says Seabrook, who takes special care not to be overly friendly to
any husbands she is working with.
"I just can't think of anything outrageous or risky I've
done for a sale," says Berlinsky. "I wait for opportunities, which are
everywhere if I open my eyes, and listen more than I talk."
Sarah Novotny, 33, a co-founder of
BlueGecko.net, an IT infrastructure company in Seattle, says her use of
feminine wiles is limited to heels. When this married entrepreneur dines with
clients at night--which includes stints in Tokyo and Washington, DC--she limits
herself to one drink and meets only in public places. "I let a lot of the old
boy culture kinda slide, because nine times out of 10, I think comments that
could be perceived as derogatory towards women are done with less intent."
Novotny's idea of nontraditional conduct has nothing to do with sexual advances.
She works on getting to know her clients in casual environments. "This approach
helps form greater relationships, gives you more insight to the organization's
growth and its future and offers you time to detail plans for your own company
and its future."
So my Aunt Josephine, who used to say, "If you've got it,
use it," would be out of touch with what many successful women entrepreneurs are
now choosing to do. And whatever the "line" is, our sampling of smart
businesswomen think it isn't acting like Britney Spears that'll win in the long
run.