You Can Increase Your Personal Power

Take a close look at the truly successful people you know. In addition to having vision, great people skills and professional competence, they possess a lot of personal power. While some personal power is natural and instinctive, there are things you can do to raise your level of personal power and reap its related rewards.

First, however, you have to understand the dynamics of power. Here is what you need to know:

1. Women are often power-resistant. Embrace your power by viewing it as 1) a positive channel for your raw energy, 2) a method of helping others and 3) a component of your goal-achieving strategy.
2. Sometimes we think of power in terms of having power over someone, using coercion, control or dominance. It's more positive to think of power in terms of the power to do something, such as the power to act, the power to influence or the power to say no.
3. Power typically derives from two major sources: One is from position or rank and the other is from someone's individual characteristics. As you assess a situation, think about which form of power will best serve you.
4. If you have personal power, you incorporate it into all your relationships. Used wisely, personal power is a tremendous asset that can help you reach your goals and build your inner circle. Don't abuse power by acting like a steamroller and flattening everyone in your path.
5. Power is about perception. Does the boss' spouse have power? The perception employees have about that relationship is more important than whether the boss really listens to his or her mate. Whether you have power is secondary to what others perceive. You can use their perception or misperception to your advantage. If others believe you have the power to reward or punish, they'll often unconsciously give you that power and treat you accordingly. You can also use a perceived lack of power to your advantage. If someone believes you have limited power and aren't a threat, you can build rapport with him or her and enlist that individual's assistance.
6. Power is about presence. Presence is about your demeanor, posture, passion and energy. Your presence will influence how others perceive you and how they determine your level of power. If you act confident and passionate, you'll have more power.
7. Power can persuade. It helps you influence people and events to your advantage or in alignment with your values. But power and persuasion are interrelated. When we persuade others, our power grows. And as our power grows, it increases our influence.
8. In all relationships, business or personal, different individuals bring different levels of power. These power imbalances can hinder your relationships and your communications. If you feel overwhelmed by another's power, use power-balancing techniques. Such techniques include focusing on interdependence, persisting in a calm manner, speaking up for ones' own worth and meta-communicating--discussing anything troubling about the way the other person comes across instead of pretending that everything is OK.

Increasing Your Personal Power
In addition to understanding the dynamics of power, the following are actions you can take to increase your personal power:

1. Consistently follow and enforce the rules and boundaries you set.
2. Before you offer assistance, ask "Do you want my help?" Only provide help to those who want it.
3. Demonstrate confidence.
4. Get testimonials from those you have helped, served or worked with. Put the testimonials on your website. Read them periodically.
5. Brush up on your public speaking. Join Toastmasters International if you need to improve.
6. Volunteer in your community.
7. Make a list of the five most powerful people you know. Build alliances with them and become a valuable resource for them. What do they want or need? How can you help them? (Remember, provide help only to those who want it.)
8. Stand tall, and don't wear shoes you can't move around in easily.
9. Use a power affirmation or power mantra. Repeat to yourself throughout the day, "I am growing more powerful each day" or "I am a powerful woman."
10. Read motivational and personal development books, and listen to motivational messages in your car or when exercising.
11. Exercise. Feeling physically strong will trigger your inner feelings of power.
12. Find a powerful mentor who has succeeded at what you want.
13. Get a journal and answer these questions:
    
            What do I associate with the concept of power?
            How do the dynamics of power play out in my life?
            How can I develop and activate my sources of power?
     
14. Join a mastermind group to share knowledge. See my next month's column for more on mastermind groups.