For many women, the mother-daughter connection is life's most complex
relationship. As a mediator who's also a woman, I am intrigued by how this bond
can bring both conflict and comfort.
Mothers shape our lives and give us our ideas about love, family and
connection. We learn to be women from our mothers. And we learn about work from
our mothers.
Although my mother was not employed outside the home for 15 years while I was
growing up, I did receive clear messages from her about work, money, security
and entrepreneurship. I believe these messages laid the groundwork for the way
my sister and I see ourselves in relation to work today.
My father was an entrepreneur. His entrepreneurial pursuits conflicted with
my mother's desire for the stability of a government or corporate job that
included benefits and time off. Throughout my life I have seesawed between
working for the government (my practical side) and high-risk entrepreneurship
(my passion), being loyal in some measure to both of my parents' visions.
As I prepared to write this column in anticipation of Mother's Day, I spoke
with other women entrepreneurs about the things they remember learning from
their mothers about work and entrepreneurship. Here is what some of them told
me:
Karen Roumay, a territory manager with the barter network
NuBarter, says her mother
taught her about customer service. Roumay saw her mother's customers keep coming
back because customers became friends. Roumay is committed to following this
tradition, which is especially fitting in her relationship-oriented business.
Nanette Saylor, founder of
WiseWellWomen Inc.,
was greatly influenced by her mother's creativity. According to Saylor, her mom
could make something from nothing--be it a craft project or a recipe. While
Saylor's mother, a doctor's wife, never worked outside of the home, Saylor sees
this creative influence as her greatest entrepreneurial inspiration.
Kim Champion, president of
Champion Home
Health Care, says her mother brought her to work in the 1960s and '70s, and
she learned that work could be fun. Like her mother, Champion "hires" her
11-year-old daughter, Alexandra, to help with special projects. For Champion and
her daughter, work is still fun. It also provides a sense of accomplishment and
a chance to learn about everything from finances to philanthropy.
Lauri Katz-Parker, an
independent
SeneGence International distributor, remembers her mother, Barbara, as a
strong, fair and kind businesswoman. She started a home based clothing business
49 years ago, "when women were not entrepreneurs," Katz-Parker says. She
believes that her mom's financial needs made her diligent and tenacious.
Katz-Parker's mother worked seven days a week, and her perseverance allowed her
to expand the business to four stores. Along the way, life dealt her some
devastating blows. With each hit, however, she threw herself into her work and
taught her children to keep going always and to follow their dreams.
On the other hand, since Katz-Parker's mom was often too busy for nurturing,
Katz-Parker strives for a balance between work and home. She has chosen to make
her own daughter her first priority. Both lessons are part of her mother's
legacy.
What did your parents teach you about entrepreneurship? What were your
parents' work-related expectations for you? Many of these expectations and
lessons were transmitted through unspoken messages or subtle judgments. What
expectations and lessons have you communicated to your own children about work?
To what extent do you still view your own successes and failures through your
parents' eyes?