Over-Pleaser's Syndrome (OPS): An entrepreneur's compulsive and/or
excessive need to please, often to the detriment of the business. The syndrome
overwhelmingly strikes women and leads to weaker bottom lines, withering work
schedules and advanced No-Life Disorder.
One of my business-coaching clients read last month's column,
"Please Everyone--and Watch Your Business Fail" and, after carefully
considering my five-point evaluation for identifying OPS, realized that she is a
chronic over-pleaser. And her business and her life are suffering as a result of
the things she's doing:
1. She often completes her employees' work on weekends.
2. She mothers staffers through personal trials.
3. She pays some staffers more than they produce.
4. "Worst of all, a couple of my employees make more money than I do," she says.
"OPS is slowly, insidiously ruining what I'd spent years building."
Then she said something really alarming. She told me she was
determined to end her pleasing ways "by reconnecting with my inner bitch."
Whoa, not so fast, I told her. Recovery has nothing to do with nastiness, but
everything to do with making clear to staffers what it takes for them to be
successful--as a hired employee in your business.
So here are my top eight tips to reverse OPS--while still ensuring a
healthy, positive, productive relationship between you and the troops:
1. Your employees should know the rules. Establish firm agreements
upfront. Make it clear that they are there to support you as well as the
business. One owner I know has successfully ingrained in her employees the
following concept: "When I have to be in the office, I can't make money." Her
employees know that supporting her means running things in the office well
enough for her to be on the road. Make clear what is acceptable in terms of
employee absences and schedules, as well as what you are and are not willing to
provide as the owner.
2. Establish measures and consequences. Tie your employees' support of
you to their performance evaluations. Have consequences in place for employees
who are casual or haphazard about complying with these parameters. Requiring
employees to perform independently and effectively frees you up to work on your
business vs. in it.
3. Don't chase employees around the office for updates. Put a
reporting system in place and refine it as you go. Require key employees to
provide formal and weekly e-mail updates on all activities, issues, concerns,
problems and opportunities they are handling. Once this proactive communications
system is in place, your employees will work to keep you in the loop vs. forcing
you to chase after information.
4. You're a business, not a shelter. Set boundaries. Make it clear to
employees that you pay them to help you run your business, not for you to help
them manage their lives. Formalize a workplace that requires employees to leave
their troubles at the door and focus on their work. Make it clear that there are
boundaries between work and home.
5. Get to the bottom of your own enabling behaviors. If you yearn to
give back, get your business healthy first, and then volunteer resources the
right way. Don't put up with unreasonable or troubled employees who can't or
won't manage their home lives. It may be useful to consult a licensed
psychologist or business coach to help you work through whatever is holding you
back from getting the support you deserve.
6. Let your employees know what it costs to retain them. Create a plan
for their productivity. Encourage staffers to commit to producing profit for the
company that exceeds the cost of their employment. You can hold employees to a
profitability ratio. One owner I work with holds her employees to a 3:1 return.
That means all employees must generate three times their salary plus burden
rate. This establishes clear benchmarks for both owner and employees.
7. Make a better plan. If your business cannot sustain you and your
employees, you have hired either too early or ineffectively. Adjust your growth
plans. A new employee should mean more money, not less, for a business owner.
8. Finally, pay yourself first. If your business is set up to support
you financially, it will operate as a business that supports everyone associated
with it. Otherwise it will become a hobby that throws off money to the owner--if
there is any left over.
Recognizing when your gift for nurturing begins to compromise your business
is essential to maintaining balance and growth. Shifting from caretaking to
demanding accountability will benefit you, the growth of your business and your
employees.