When Your Biz Takes a Toll on Your Relationship

Q: My boyfriend takes issue with all the time and money I devote to my business. He's not part of the business, so how do I tell him to back off?

A: Before you say something you might regret, you need to ask yourself if you really want to kiss your relationship goodbye. While your boyfriend has no right to drag you into the living room to watch the Super Bowl while you're on deadline with an important client project, it's not unreasonable for him to expect you to join him for a movie on Saturday night or to visit his parents once in a while. And if he's the one who's picking up the check so you can invest every last penny in your business, maybe he deserves a little accountability.

If, on the other hand, your boyfriend doesn't support your goals and is trying to control your life because of his own insecurity or macho need to dominate, you may need to re-examine your relationship and ask yourself if it's time to move on. The key, says psychologist Debra Condren, author of the book amBITCHous and founder of the Women's Business Alliance, is setting limits and letting him know that, while you appreciate his feedback, it's your business and you need to run it the way you see fit.

Whether you decide to stay or go, Condren advises, "Be sure to assess, before committing, whether potential partners respect and value your big, precious ambitious goals. You can have a rewarding career and a happy personal life, including children. And anyone who pressures you to think otherwise is, essentially, asking you to sacrifice a core part of who you are and what matters to you."