What Do You Need to Know About Yourself?

When I first started running my company, I desperately tried to get feedback. I would ask my staff for their thoughts on me, my performance, a recent presentation, company initiatives--anything that might give me insight into how to be a better leader. I learned the hard way that no one tells the boss the truth.

Even my best employees--including one who was a personal friend before joining--could not deliver it straight. Despite your best intentions, it's impossible to be totally honest with someone who has such power over your life. Ten years later, it's laughable to me that I even tried.

In his seminal book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman lays out research showing the strong correlation between self-awareness and success as a leader. Good leaders must have a clear understanding of their strengths and shortcomings to adapt, improve and hire around their weaknesses.

Everyone has an opinion about the leader; you just need a way to get it out of your employees. Here's what I've seen work:

• Anonymous internal surveys. People are more likely to be honest if what they say can't be traced back to them. You can tap management surveys on the internet, or you can make up your own questions. Have people complete the survey online through a service such as SurveyMonkey, so it's clear that a third party is administering it.

The upside of a quantifiable survey is that you get crisp feedback. The downside is that there's no way to follow up on comments to get to the root of issues. Also, a person's latest experience can cloud his or her responses. For example, if you deny someone's vacation the day before the survey, he or she will likely offer harsh criticism across the board. Be prepared to need a thick skin and be left wanting to know more.

• Facilitator-administered 360-degree surveys. A 360-degree survey provides a full-circle view of an executive through discussions with people who work with that executive in multiple ways, including customers, board members, employees and partners. These can be effective at teasing out the deeper issues and separating one experience from a systemic issue. They offer the most valuable and usable feedback for a CEO.

Note that that they must be delivered by a professional facilitator. Many CEOs try to do these internally for the whole executive team, including having someone review the CEO. This provides the CEO with skewed, unreliable feedback. Plus, no one wants the job of reviewing the CEO. Take the extra step and hire someone with whom people feel they can be honest and who will protect confidentiality. A good facilitator knows how to ask the right questions to provide actionable feedback. You're using this to change your behavior; you want to get it right.

• Exit interviews. Most CEOs rarely look at the transcripts from exit interviews, and many companies don't conduct such interviews. After all, who cares what an angry employee has to say on his or her way out? As it turns out, you should. When employees leave a company, they have insider perspective and little to lose by being honest. It's true that a person leaving on good terms doesn't want to spoil a job reference by trashing the place, but nearly every parting employee has something to say. Take advantage of that. Prepare routine questions that tease out solid feedback. Include a question about that person's manager, if it's not you, and about yourself as the leader. Read every single one and aggregate data to identify trends.

All this advice assumes that your company has a staff. But what if it's just you? I recently heard a speaker whose business is helping corporations mend serious management conflicts. He advocated a "life-changing" exercise, which involves going to a handful of people who know you best--spouse, parents, siblings, old friends and business partners--and asking two questions:

• What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths as a person; and
• What weaknesses do I have that would most impact my life if I changed them?

I decided to try it while on vacation with some old friends. We went around the room answering the questions for each of us. I can tell you that the feedback inspired some pivotal changes in my own behavior. And because we're the same person in all our various roles, what improves you personally very likely affects your business as well.

I've tried all of the ideas mentioned in this article, and every one increases perspective. Each time, I've learned something new.

You don't know what you don't know, and it's time to find out.